Furnace Fear
“Fear can keep us up all night long, but faith makes one fine pillow.”- unknown
A sweet waxing crescent moon nods in the sky and it is All Hallow’s Eve and the world is frozen. In Virginia it can be summer one day and below freezing the next and we are in the next days of weather after a few glorious days of 80 degree warmth. The heat is on and I am not sleeping for fear of it. The high cost of home heating oil keeps me awake. And the fact that my furnace is an aged soul, still tottering but able to function and for that I am most grateful.
I am not a winter person. Cold is not inviting. Wearing three layers of clothing and a stocking cap INDOORS is not my idea of coziness. I am a summer girl. A brown native who relishes 90 degree days and baking sun and thinks sweat beads sparkling in the blazing heat are more exotically beautiful than a strand of the finest pearls.
But I am in Virginia. A cold tundra but by far not the coldest state or place.
When I was a child it was so cold in our house I would get dressed for school beneath the covers of my bed. I was always the first to wear a coat or sweater or several layers. The first to drink hot soup and hot tea and hot broth and pray for summer.
How can I effectively combat this frozen season, this winter chill of soul and spirit and self?
This morning during another sleepless winter night it came to me.
Rise above- and dig in.
Recognize within the frozen earth, inside bare, flowerless branches, a new world is waking, stretching her arms and legs and opening her eyes. Summer and winter exchange forces and bring new life to the natural world. Instead of focusing on freezing, perhaps I should focus on fragments of possibility. For it is there. Rise above- dig in.
In each ending is a new beginning. I’ll continue to pray for my frail little furnance, hope for warm winter days and drink hot soup, coffee and broth to heat my body.
But my soul will begin to see Winter differently. She is a sleeping child, a warm spirit nestled within the hard earth and barren branches, developing, determined to dance her wild fury at the first hint of spring.
Welcome winter, bring your chill
To All Hallow’s Eve bright and still
Draw the veil deep within
Rise above- and dig in
- tammy brackett
c- 2011
