I dropped the hose today.

Before you widen your eyes and gasp and think lurid thoughts, let me clarify.

A salon shampoo station consists of

1. A porcelain sink or “bowl” with an indentation for the head and ears (don’t forget the ears) of a client

2. A reclining chair so the client leans back into the bowl

3. A tap with hot and cold water.

4. THE HOSE- a plastic tube with a sprayer on the end intended to wet and rinse a client’s hair (not the client,the chair, the floor, the rug, or the wall across from the shampoo bowl..) Do not, I repeat, Do Not drop the hose.

They told me I would do it. They said no matter what, it would happen. I scoffed and laughed and tightened my grip on the wild water hose. The first words that popped out of my friend Jacqueline’s mouth when I told her about my new adventure as a salon tech/shampoo lady, were, “Don’t drop the hose!” She was speaking from years of experience as a stylist.

But I was determined it should never happen to me. I would capture the offending hose in a strangle hold and never let go, but

I dropped the hose today.

Our client was seated in a chair at the new bowls at the salon. These bowls allow a client to nearly sit straight, tilt the head back a bit and get a nice shampoo without reclining all the way in a chair. In the midst of rinsing her hair, as I was gabbing about this and that, I let go of the hose. Such a small, involuntary movement.

So much water.

The front of my client’s rubber color cape got a nice spray as did the chair. But mostly I made a nice big puddle of water in the FLOOR in front of the chair.

At a moment of supreme embarrassment, my client and co-workers could have come unhinged and chided my clumsiness and lack of a good grip on the hose after being warned it was a wily beast apt to turn in a second.

 But this is what happened: my sweet co-worker asked my sweet shampoo tech assistant to clean up the water while I continued to shampoo our client. The assistant laughed and said, “Remember when we were learning to shampoo and handle the hose and we BOTH wet the wall at the front bowls?” She cheerfully grabbed towels to clean up the mess. My client, bless her soul, kept claiming, “It’s just water! Don’t worry about it!” Stylists stopped by, noticing the melee, to stare and smile and say, “Well you finally did it!” One claimed I was now, officially, part of the crew.

The entire incident reminded me of life in general. Each day we have accidents and irritations and things don’t go according to plan. We say things we don’t mean in response to things that, in one or one hundred years, will not matter. We can blow a small incident so far our of proportion, as to cause a skirmish, a battle of wills, a war of unkind words, hurt feelings and disillusionment in our fellow humans.

Our attitude is everything. Reacting with hate and hostility to any situation, whether it be a work incident or an election or a family issue, is not right thinking.

Learn to react with understanding and compassion. React in the direction of love. Love, after all, is an action word.

And don’t let go of the hose.

“Fear can keep us up all night long, but faith makes one fine pillow.”- unknown

A sweet waxing crescent moon nods in the sky and it is All Hallow’s Eve and the world is frozen. In Virginia it can be summer one day and below freezing the next and we are in the next days of weather after a few glorious days of 80 degree warmth. The heat is on and I am not sleeping for fear of it. The high cost of home heating oil keeps me awake. And the fact that my furnace is an aged soul, still tottering but able to function and for that I am most grateful.

I am not a winter person. Cold is not inviting. Wearing three layers of clothing and a stocking cap INDOORS is not my idea of coziness. I am a summer girl. A brown native who relishes 90 degree days and baking sun and thinks sweat beads sparkling in the blazing heat are more exotically beautiful than a strand of the finest pearls.

But I am in Virginia. A cold tundra but by far not the coldest state or place.

When I was a child it was so cold in our house I would get dressed for school beneath the covers of my bed. I was always the first to wear a coat or sweater or several layers. The first to drink hot soup and hot tea and hot broth and pray for summer.

How can I effectively combat this frozen season, this winter chill of soul and spirit and self?

This morning during another sleepless winter night it came to me.

Rise above- and dig in.

Recognize within the frozen earth, inside bare, flowerless branches, a new world is waking, stretching her arms and legs and opening her eyes. Summer and winter exchange forces and bring new life to the natural world. Instead of focusing on freezing, perhaps I should focus on fragments of possibility. For it is there. Rise above- dig in.

In each ending is a new beginning. I’ll continue to pray for my frail little furnance, hope for warm winter days and drink hot soup, coffee and broth to heat my body.

But my soul will begin to see Winter differently.  She is a sleeping child, a warm spirit nestled within the hard earth and barren branches, developing, determined to dance her wild fury at the first hint of spring.

Welcome winter, bring your chill

To All Hallow’s Eve bright and still

Draw the veil deep within

Rise above- and dig in

- tammy brackett

c- 2011

"Why not seize the pleasure at once, how often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparations.” – Jane Austen Preparation has been the name of my game for the past few weeks as I've readied myself to be away from my office and home digs for a stay with my sister. I've caught up on work, even managed to wrangle in some new possibilities for income and prepared my bags, travel itinerary and watering instructions for the garden and plan … Read More

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“My children, you have forgotten the customs and traditions of your forefathers. You have bought guns, knives, kettles and blankets from the white man until you can no longer do without them; and what is worse is you have drunk the poison firewater, which turns you into fools. Fling these things away; live as your forefathers did before you.” – Pontiac, ODOWA

A recent round of natural semi-disasters passed through my life recently. I say semi-disasters because, luckily, we had little damage from either the 5.8 earthquake that struck our region Thursday August 26 or Hurricane Irene which plowed through August 27 and 28.

Irene’s wind and fury did leave us powerless for nearly a week. There was no internet and no phone service. Our neighborhood was quiet and dark the first few days after the storm. Most neighbors secured generators after two or three days, which provided them with light accompanied by a nearly defeaning roaring din that was more disconcerting than the dark and quiet could ever be.

I heated water on our gas grill and made instant coffee in the morning. I used the warm water for a quick wash before work. After work I scoured the opposite side of town for ice (there was none) and food (there was no fresh food just canned) and then cooked items from our slowly defrosting freezer. We ate outside on our deck round our lovely mosaic table that we never use. We went to bed when the candles burned down. We were nearly living as our forefathers.

Americans tend to consume until we cannot do without “things” that 100 years ago were not necessary to daily life. Better phones, bigger homes, more power drains the simplicity from life. For all our so-called progress, we certainly don’t seem to be happy or content.

Power, in all its forms, has not resulted in true light or enlightenment. Power has left us in the dark.

Contentment is not grounded in power. Contentment is attained most readily in an unplugged environment. Consider our forefathers and how they lived before power, running water, and blink of the eye communications. Duplicate the lives of our forefathers in some small way today and discover the true power of unplugged enlightenment.

"Upon the whole, therefore, she found, what has been sometimes found before, that an event to which she had looked forward with impatient desire, did not, in taking place, bring all the satisfaction she had promised herself. it was consequently necessary to name some other period for the commencement of actual felicity; to have some other point on which her wishes and hopes might be fixed, and by again enjoying the pleasure of anticipation, conso … Read More

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I'm three weeks into a yoga practice.  I'm using our On Demand service to find workouts on the Exercise Channel. I'm able to do a 10 minute workout before breakfast while the dog is still sleeping. Mr Kronk the Dog cannot stand Tammy on the floor stretching and bending and flexing. He licks me in the face and wants to sit on my legs. He could never be an exercise coach. "Oh just lay there and relax for cryin out loud. " he implores with his big b … Read More

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Happiness lies outside yourself, is achieved through interacting with others. Self-forgetfulness should be one’s goal, not self-absorption. The male, capable of only the latter, makes a virtue of an irremediable fault and sets up self-absorption, not only as a good but as a Philosophical Good.- Valerie Jean Solanas

It has to be a lonely life to be completely immersed in ones oneself. It has to be sad and depressing to care so much about an individual as to eschew the slight nuances of life, the trivial conversation, the tete-a- tete between  humans.

It’s easy to spot the self-absorbed. They spend enormous time with a mirror for a companion looking and gazing but never appearing to glean much information about themselves. Perhaps they truly are looking for “something” but are so caught up in themselves, their look, perhaps their perceived style that eventually their own reflection is more of a companion than any mortal could be.

They tend to text quite a lot. Texting requires looking down. The self-absorbed seem to be drawn to technology that allows them to communicate yet be, for all practical purposes, absent.  The downward texting gaze keeps them out of the hum of conversation and conviviality and increases the likelihood they’ll be left alone.

It is not just males who practice self absorption, but, poor souls, they do seem to be quite proficient at ignoring everything but themselves. With the exception of sports or hobbies that usually involve sports,  a male can cocoon himself so well from family and friends that we forget there is a person inside that shell. A catastrophic event is usually required to illicit any sort of reaction from a dear male. Bless their hearts.

Self absorption is often a defense mechanism to cope with stress or heartache. It is an understood trait of those who have suffered much at the hands of the world and society. “If you cannot take care of me, I shall develop a way to only care for myself.”  And so it starts.

If there is an opportunity for you to put down technology and step from in front of the looking-glass today, do it. If you’re guilty of self absorption, simply try to listen to conversation today. You may not want to jump directly into the fray, but if you do want to make a change, at least get accustomed to the thrum of humans.  The particulars of voice, laughter and the many languages you’re likely to hear in a day are  an intricate melody.

Don’t limit yourself. There’s a big wide world our there. Be a part of it.