January 23, 2010 – Dream Girl personified
“Let’s pretend we’re GOD!” Christopher, my older son, exclaimed. He was three and wild-eyed and excited at the prospect of forming clay into what ever we wanted. Our favorite book at the time was a creation story. The Biblical interpretation of the birth of man was covered but the story creatively wove elements of alternative creation theories into the tale as well.
I couldn’t help but think of Christopher’s God comment today as I mull bringing Dream Girl into some sort of tangible state. A tactile Dream Girl sitting in my office would be a physical reminder to keep on track with the rebirth of our hopes and aspirations. This is a tenuous time. There are financial considerations looming in the background of our dazzling dreams. We are somewhat frightened of the prospect of relying upon our talent to make ends meet. We are so much more comfortable chatting about other talented people. Heck we even yell about other talented people at the top of our lungs, demand an interview, a review, some attention. It will be a task to develop that same sort of vocal enthusiasm for Dream Girl and me without sounding self-serving, conceited and vain.
Tonight, I’ll ponder the physical specifics of Dream Girl. She has to quite special, unique, a charming young lady full of verve and glow. It’ll be interesting to discover her in the real world. She exists now only as an ephemeral shimmer; a flowing idea constantly shifting.
But soon she’ll sit across from me as I work, dream and do. I’ll talk over ideas with her and struggle to remember what it was like to be on fire within the confines of living, before living turned into survival and got the upper hand.
This won’t be a hunt but rather a perusal of space for the particular countenance and form of Dream Girl.
I’ll have to match the dark-haired, dark-eyed little creature who now lurks only in my imagination. Like a small child during a time of uncertainty and change, I need something to hold on to. A real Dream Girl will help focus my gauzy thoughts into tactile ideas, my fantasies into reality and my despair into hope.
I’m lucky to have found her, lucky she was not lost forever in a cavern of negative self-worth. I feel her spirit tugging at my sleeve, lifting me up, urging me on.