January 26, 2010- Dream Girl learns to serve herself
What does this say? After all, I have nearly a billion (OK that’s hyperbole) photos of bands and artists I’ve worked with. But very few pics of ME, which is why I substituted the lovely Miss Blue Fairy above. It’s a bit sad and disconcerting to have more photos of my bands than myself. It personifies the quandry I’ve found myself in of late and renewed the fact that, indeed, I have put myself way down the caring totem pole, even in the photo department.
My main mission, as I rise each morning, make my coffee and get to my desk is TO SERVE OTHERS. It’s a mantra. I pray to Gabriel, the archangel of communication, to make me sensitive to the needs of others, to create in me a kind and giving nature as I talk to those who need advice or help navigating the music business. Insight and enlightenment are not cornerstones of the business of music and management, touring and promotion, but I have endeavored to make them part of my business model.
I am very good at serving others. So much so, that I’ve forgotten how to serve myself. I’ve searched the recesses of my mind, scoured closets and cobwebby corners and discovered that I do not know the least thing about serving myself.
At some point, personal preservation has to trump serving others. I have personal experience with someone who has served others so well for so long that she has indeed created a kind of black hole of kindness. Now people simply call on her for tasks and work and view her efforts as a sort of freebie of the universe. Like a vacuum of niceness and good will, my friend’s life is constantly spent in pursuit of how she can best serve anyone but herself. This hasn’t resulted in a holy Mother Teresa life but rather a life of poverty and restriction. But yet she helps. And yet people call upon her to help …..for free.
Dream Girl and I have decided we must learn to help ourselves. Whether it’s picking up something special just for ourselves at the market or taking a walk without the dog if we feel like it, we’re going to teach ourselves to be of a kind and solicitous nature toward us. We’re going to ask ourselves questions about our likes and draw conclusions about how to make ourselves happier and more content.
Serving others is a noble task and we intend to still be our helpful selves to a point. But we also intend to bestow self-worth, mercy and gentleness upon ourselves daily and be sweeter and of a more even temper when dealing with our mistakes. We’ll treat ourselves, well, like one of our clients.
Self-serve ice cream sundae stations are good. Self -serve buffets are a plethora of choices all our own.
Dream Girl and I will have a little more comfort and ease on our plate, thank you. And please go lightly on the self-criticism and condemnation. We never liked those choices to begin with.