April 12, 2010: Authenticity and Self Belief
When you are real in your music, people know it and they feel your authenticity.
I never felt I was a “real” booking agent. Maybe it was the absence of brick and mortar, a staff, or having an INC, LLC or CORP proudly displayed after Moonstruck Promotions. Maybe it was because I worked with building bands instead of established acts. Each phone call to a buyer or venue was a plea, a request, a bargain, a favor. I called it the negative negotiating position. On certain days, it felt as if I’d spent each moment on my knees begging for appearances, airplay, attention. It was tiring and despite booking over 800 events (shows, appearances on radio, podcasts, interviews, photo opportunities) in 2008, I never felt I was a “real” booking agent.
There was also the undeniable link between income and occupation. That in itself was a troublesome indication that perhaps I was not “real”, working hard enough, or long enough or intensely enough to deserve a living wage. But, again, I worked with building bands. Not established acts.
I certainly was supported by unquestionable evidence (my crowded color coded calendar) and the constant ringing of my phone requesting help validated my work as a booking agent. My occupation was verified by all who knew me in the least. But my soul begged to differ with the current opinion that I was an agent, interested only in booking show after show.
If I was not a booking agent, then what was I? Why did I not feel authenticity resonate in my soul in relation to my work?
It’s because I could not define myself as an agent. First I was a mom and a significant other in the most important relationships in my life. Then, as Moonstruck, I was a helper, a teacher, a trusted ear and often a shoulder to cry on, a motivator, an idea girl. I was a spirit in human form acting as a conduit between those touched by God (musicians) to those who, as members of an audience, needed to smile and be captivated by the connectivity and sheer joy of a shared musical experience.
I never felt like a real booking agent because my authenticity lay in other decidedly unworldly venues; places that had nothing to do with neon signs and beer specials. I viewed what I did as a holy calling instead of a way to make money.
What you do is not YOU. YOU are defined by parameters far beyond income, ability, and sporting an INC,LLC or CORP at the end of your name.
Discover you own authenticity. Move the things that make your soul sing to the top of your list of who you are. We are defined by our own truth of spirit.