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May 2, 2010 / alunatunes

Musicians and Health- Toxic work environments

Carlas Photos 046Listen my musicians and you will hear-the midnight tale of woe and fear. The Toxic Bar you shall meet, and in it’s grasp, you’ll taste defeat. Follow the rules in this heartfelt advice, and you my friend may last the night….

It’s scary beyond belief and there is one embedded in every tour schedule. It the place with the oppressive atmosphere, the hostile staff and the monitor tech who is asleep on his board. It’s the place that lies smack in the middle of two tour destinations on the map, making it an inevitable stop on the calendars of every traveling act. It is like a trip into the twilight zone….you’re never sure if you’ll survive or if a ghost is going to appear to talk you out of your soul. It is the Toxic Bar, guaranteed to suck the life out of you, steal your good will and spit you out on the sidewalk.

Let’s face it. People don’t go to bars for cultural enlightenment. They go to drink, party and hook up. In most bars, music is a secondary consideration. People are not in bars for cultural stimulation or enlightenment.  Understand this is not an opinion or a judgement, it is just the way things are.

A bar is what it is. Some are great. Some are scary. Here’s how to survive Bar Toxic:

1. SMILE! Do not be caught in this place without one. The hostile staff will be thrown completely off guard when you do not complain or whine but smile.

2. GIRD YOUR LOINS!  Do not go on a midnight tryst or foray with anyone in this establishment. Never a good idea in the best of places, dabbling in Bar Toxic’s persons of the night is a definite no no.

3. BE HAPPY! They will try and bring you down. Elevate your mood. Feel confident when the monitor tech tells you you sound like crap because his “feel good contact” was arrested the night before and he has not had his “vitamins” and is in a foul mood. Realize nothing you do, say or how you act is going to change anyone’s opinion of you in Bar Toxic.

4. BURN SAGE in the dressing room. Sage is a cleansing potion.

5. WEAR RED- red counteracts negative energy. Wear a red beaded bracelet when you play or a nice red shirt or tie or socks or something.

I’m chuckling as I write this, thinking of all the toxic environments I’ve been in over the years. When you do get out of the bar that night, say a prayer of thankfulness, wipe your brow and head out of town as soon as possible.


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