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July 13, 2010 / alunatunes

Grown Ups


To speak truly, few adult persons can see nature. Most persons do not see the sun. At least they have a very superficial seeing. The sun illuminates only the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and heart of the child.
 Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes

There’s nothing better than being a child in the summer. Riding bikes barefoot while whittling down a snowcone or freeze pop is a perfect picture of a hot day. I’ve watched an endless child parade this past month from my sunroom office. As I’ve toiled in the adult world, little girls play and laugh and run and the boys hide and yell and scream.

I so wished to be a grown up and then when grown up got here I fervently wished it to go away. I’m always reminded of Emily Dickinson’s sweet poem about being a grown up.

“Was it for this I uttered prayers, And sobbed and cursed and kicked the stairs, That now, domestic as a plate, I should retire at halfpast eight?”

As the year drags on with limited employment, my usual fervor for the sun has withered like the grass and plants in my yard. I am only concerned that the remainder of this year will be as sparse and tight and worrisome as the first 7 months.  I question what I’m doing and why and if I can continue to do the work I love. I have forgotten that it is summer, my favorite season.

As a child, the sun does shine into the very heart, warming the soul and heightening the senses to all possibilities. A bike ride with the wind whipping through ones hair is glorious. A dip on a swing going higher than high is sublime.

And all we want to do when we’re little is to be a grown up. To drive (car, car insurance, car payment, car upkeep), own a home (upkeep, insurance, mortgage, declining home values), and be independent of our parents (freedom=responsibility)

Today, I need to remember childhood. I need to take a turn about the yard. I have a wooden swing hanging in the tree in front of my house less than 30 feet from where I work that I have not visited in months. I need some bubbles to blow and a coloring book and a fort made of sheets and clothespins.

I urge you to create a bit of childhood with me today. Take your shoes off and let the grass wiggle between your toes.  Read a comic book. Doodle. Call a friend and giggle. Let the sun shine into your heart.

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